“I was born but never lived.”
An ode to Jackie Shane
Good morning-evening-afternoon,
Welcome and hello! I hope you’re all feeling that refreshing relief of a new year. I am, and as of this very moment—can’t nobody tell me nothing. This year, delusion is a virtue. Resilience, a weapon. Love is my gift.
And friends, I do come bearing gifts. Well, a gift in the form of a documentary, of which I had the pleasure to experience towards the tail end of 2024.
“I was born but never lived.”
This painfully poignant sentence is the very first written in singer and fascinating trans pioneer Jackie Shane's memoir, featured in the documentary Any Other Way: The Jackie Shane Story.
I learned of this film from an internet friend. I’m so grateful to have caught it’s brief virtual IFC screening because I am forever changed. I hope the film will be available more broadly soon, so that you might also be moved.
The Jackie Shane Story follows the life of singer Jackie Shane, a Black trans woman born in Nashville, TN, in 1940, whose momentous career in the 60s became essentially erased before her loving nieces, Andrenee Majors-Douglas and Vonnie Crawford-Moore—featured in the film—discovered her existence.
Jackie Shane literally tells her own story. The film follows both her memoir—found in her home following her death—along with a rare, recorded interview she did later in life. She’s played by fellow trans women, drag performer Makayla Couture and the iconic elder Sandra Caldwell. Shane’s lovingly portrayed in all her glamorous splendor, from her elegant and show-stopping gowns to her mesmerizing voice and unforgettably charismatic performances.
Shane opened for The Temptations, was featured on the popular show “Night Train,” and was even supposed to perform on the infamous Ed Sullivan show, only to decline when they demanded she tone down her femininity if she were to be on camera.
Shane was well on her way to international stardom, similar to her friend and fellow performer Little Richard. But, right before her immenent rise, our dear transcestor chose her own peace over a life in the spotlight where she’d be constantly and sometimes violently misunderstood.
Her later years were spent inside her own home, only exiting once a month to gather her basic needs. I empathize with Shane’s desire for reclusion. It was self-preservation. A thing so many of us who are marginalized in some way experience, especially Black trans women. Jackie Shane was born but never lived. She existed. She survived and wrote her own story so we may continue telling it. And we must.
She passed quietly in her home in 2019 at the age of 78, found only days later by her close friend, Lorenzo Washington.
Jackie Shane’s 1969 work “Any Other Way” was nominated for Best Historical Album in 2017.
I’m grateful that at least towards the end of her life she was able to experience the love and reverence she deserved the whole time. Though she wasn’t able to perform one final time, she is now known by family who would have loved her deeply, and her impact and influence live on. People like you and I may still listen to her voice, her music, and her story. And how iconic is it that her story is the one she told?
I hope she felt loved in the end. I really do.
I’m so grateful that we get to know her by her own words. I hope we can all be inspired by Jackie Shane’s story and her existence.
It is a new year. For those of us who have survived, I hope we live so loud we cannot be erased—loud enough to live for those who couldn’t. I hope we love ourselves. I hope we show those we love that we love them. I hope we know we deserve it all (see: Kendrick’s ‘Man in the Garden’).
a few things
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be submitting my memoir, PANSY, to some select awards. Please donate if you’re able (cashapp: $blkpansy, venmo: jasper-joyner).
Submission costs are anywhere from $35 to $100 and yer boi could use all the dimes I can get.
I want to shout out to all the amazing Black substackers I’ve followed recently. I’m grateful that this site has become an oasis for us despite it’s obvious flaws. We’re really out here and I love us for real.
This year is one of patience and joy. Previously, I set a time when I posted here but now I’ll be posting when the mood strikes. Perhaps you’ll enjoy the whimsical ransomness of it all.
I’ll leave you with a recording of Jackie Shane’s single, “Any Other Way.”
Happy new year, y’all. See you soon,
Jasper
Interesting. I learned something new.
I really like her song “coming down with a heartache.”